Jesus walks on water, Chuck Norris walks on Jesus.
When Chuck is cutting Onion, onion is crying
Chuck never experienced lag, lag is too scared of him
When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the world down
Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he just stares them down until he gets the information he wants out
of them.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f*ck down
Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire
Some kids piss their names in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name in concrete.
A handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life
There is no 'Ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more than you.
Darth Vader dresses up as Chuck Norris for Halloween.
If you want a list of Chuck Norris
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