Sorry to hear about your friend Pups.
I think I know how you feel, as I almost lost a near friend about 8 months ago.
Luckily he survived, but he still has trouble remembering me and others.
Hope your life gets better soon mate, and we understand that you are frustrated at the moment.
Take a little break, then come back when you feel like. Im sure your friends on this community will greet you

Good luck with real life
