The follow is a guide/handbook on how to survive a Zombie invasion, Study it carefully, one day it may save your life! Yes it was written by me, Out of sheer boredom....but...never the less, enjoy it, And study it,
Chapter 1: The ZombieWell, We've all seen the films, Their nasty creatures, And better still, Their persistent bastards. What you need to remember is their weak points! just remember that they are slow, and in many ways, The are slow movers, slow learners, This is a benefit to us, We as humans have the ability to move quickly, We can swim, Drive and Fly a plane, Yet we cannot do these things consistently, keep that in mind. Your best chance of evading the zombie is via out running them, That's it, Run forest run!, Don't look back either, Keep focusing on where your going. Use a car if you are able to.
As for killing them, Go for the head, Zombies feel no pain, They will just keep going for you, no matter what you do, Grab an axe, And of with their heads! Or a shotgun works fine too (Blast their heads off). Aiming for the legs will just slow them down even more, arms will do nothing.
The main thing, If one bites you, stay away from your partner(s), If you are emotionally attached to your partner(s), Run away, Don't let them follow you, this may end up in you infecting your loved ones.
One bite and your a gonner!Chapter 2: InventoryWell, You cant stay in one place, Its as simple as that, My recommendations would be just get a car (SUV/4x4(A plow would go well on the front toosomething weird and stock the back up with food, Weapons, Clothing and Toiletry's (Bog roll, Tooth paste and so on), Remember, We dont know how long its going to be, so dont be afraid on cramming stuff in, if your car's big enough it should cope.
What you need:Food:- Water - Try to avoid other drinks, Mainly for health reasons, and you dont want to end up dehydrated.
- Energy drinks - Sometimes the adrenalin isn't enough, My recommendations would be Monster or Red Bull.
- Food - Nothing unhealthy, Bread, Some meats, Some sweet food (But not too much), The basics.
- Beer - Lots of it, We need to have fun too y'know, Just try not to overdo the drinking, It could be the last thing you do.
Toiletry's:- Bog roll - For the obvious reasons.
- Soap - A zombie attack is no excuse to drop hygiene, stay clean and wash as often as you can.
- Medicines - Pain Killers, Bug spray, Sun Lotion, Any medication you may be on, Medication you feel is needed, As for the pain killers, go fro Aspirin, Ibuprofen, And grab some Morphine if you can.
Clothes:- Shirts - For the obvious reasons, Pack T-Shirts and Long sleeved Shirts, You don't want to overheat or get cold.
- Trousers/Shorts - Pack a few pair of each, Wear Combats if you can, They tend to have extra space to store your beloved ammunition and food. Wear thick clothing if you can stand it.
- Jackets - Rain coats, Hoodies and Body warmers, Practical for weathering reasons.
- Underwear/Socks - Do I have to explain why? Just bring extra underwear in-case of any 'accidents'.
Weapons:- Shotgun - My weapon of choice, Good for close combat situations, Aim for the head and BAM! one less zombie!, Go for something practical, Nothing automatic, I'd use my Dad's Remington 12 Gauge, Pump Action, Easy to use, and powerful.
- Handgun - Something big, Carry two, (By two I mean one big one small, Keep the small one in your shoe or somewhere like that), Get something powerful, Like a Desert Eagle, Magnum, Or just a simple Colt, As always, Aim for the head!.
- Assault Rifle - Get an automatic, You don't want single shot, Go for an AK-47, M15/AR15, These are always good for groups of the f**kers.
- Sniper Rifle - The 'precision tool', Get in a tree or on a roof, And fire away, Between the eyes works good as always. I'd personally go for a 50 Calibre.
- Axe - Great if you don't mind go up close and personal. The trick is to get them near a wall and swing the axe, slicing the neck and using the wall as a brake.
- Chainsaw - Vroomm!!!! Slice and Dice is all I'm going to say here.
- Ammunition - I cant say much except stock up. Get what you need.
(Avoid Sub Machine Guns, If you have one bring it, But only use it as a spare.)
Chapter 3: BuildingsNow throughout your journey you will feel the need to sleep indoors, Or just check what's inside, See if you can restock, Theres s trick to almost every building, and every type of building, As I will explain;
Houses:As we all know, Houses are the habitats of the humans, We cherish out homes, So try not to mess them up when entering. Some people may have refused to leave, And in doing so, may have got infected, if this is the case they tend to hide in dark places, Or just not move, Trick is, if you see one, no matter where you are (House, Shop or so on), Tap them with your gun, If they look, And their gone, Pop em'!. If you'r looking for supplies, or planning on sleeping their over night, Look around the whole house, Then go do what you need to do, Safety first right?.
Shops/Stores:(This also applies for warehouses/storage buildings)
Keep the same principles as above, But remember, Shops have shelf's, Store rooms, And isles, That's a lot of space to hide, Check round bends, Light up dark places, Be cautious. If your after food or stock, Check it, If its got blood or guts scattered across it, Put it down, It could save your life.
Hospitals:If you need to stop for medical reasons, Don't expect to be greeted by a nurse, Hospitals are guarantee'd to be one of the first places to get infected, So they will be infested with zombies, Go in in groups, Keep a sharp eye out, Take your best weapon with you. Make the stay in the hospital quick, Go in, Get what you need and leave.
Buildings in generalThese are pretty much the golden rules to surviving your stay in any building:
1. Don't hide under stairs.....just don't, If you do your locking yourself in, they will find you and you have no hope in hell of getting out, unless to have a good aim.
2. Don't sit/sleep/stop behind/in-front windows or doors, Everyone in the films make this mistake, Zombies will break through the door or window and they will get you, Stay behind/in-front of a solid wall, And LOOK at the windows and doors (And other places they can get in.)
3. Cellars/Basements.......Don't go in alone, go in couples, Or groups, But remember, Your going at your own risk, once your in there your a target for what is down there, or while there something could come and wait to greet you when you come back up.
4. Toilets....well, um...when your doing your thing, Keep a gun with you, Hold on to it, Be prepared, While on the bog your a sitting target for the zombies.
Chapter 4:Goals and relationsMake sure you have somewhere to go, Make a list of aims/goals, Make strategies, stay focussed on them, Don't go of track, if you plan to go alone, or in a group, keep it that way.
As for relations, As mentioned in the first Chapter, You cant get too attached to people, No matter what the relation is, That doesn't mean you treat your family and friends like crap, That means you look out for one another, If one needs help, You help them, But...if they do get infected, You need to let them go, Keeping an infected one with you could mean life or life as a zombie for you.
That's it for now folks!
Dan
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