If I were ___ I would ___

[iDavid]

If I were Joseph Fritzl, I'd stop raping my daughter  :roll:

A girl

[TheRock]

If I were a girl, i'd spit Justin Bieber at face.

A object

[JDC]

If I were an object, I would sit still and inanimate. You know, like the AFK people.
 
Billie Joe Armstrong

[LoCoMoToR]

if i were that foo' i'd google myself, cuss' idk who that is.

The Pope.

[Hircine]

If I were the Pope I'd make Christianity look bad.

A crack dealer

[Void]

If I were a crack dealer, I'd smoke all the supply I get

Moaner

[Leon.]

If I were a moaner, I would moan about the moaners moaning.

Black person.

[Todor]

If I was a black person I'd have a massive co- ... oh wait 
car

[Leon.]

If I were a car, I would be a car inside yo car so yo can drive while yo drive

Stallion

[Jerry]

If i were a Stallion i would drive with my roof on.

Gordon Freeman(HL)

[Hircine]

I'd beat yo bitch ass with a crowbar

A member of the Wu-Tang Clan

[Squeak]

If I were a member of the Wu-Tang Clan, I'd be the GZA.

Lone Wanderer

[Wake]

if I were a lone wanderer, I would find someone to walk with

Gandalf

[Mr.Joker]

If i were Gandalf ,I would /wire to Mr.Joker 9999999999 

Ol' Dirty Bastard

[Melvin]

If i were an Ol' dirty bastard i would've scammed mario rinna.

Bob marley