Many of you have already noticed my full return to Argonath RPG. Especially with the come back of the Sforza Family in SA:MP.
I should begin by explaining why I've been away for the past two years or so and what has happened in those two years. I'd say that there is a great mix of extremely good and extremely bad. A lot of drama, trauma and on the other hand, happiness and some of the best days of my life so far.
Back in early October of 2009, my father received an email from the college I applied for,
The BRIT School of Performing Arts and Technology. Turns out the email was an acceptance into the college... my dreams had come true as I had aspired to enrolling at this college for a long time. I studied Music there full time and my goodness was that place good! I enjoyed my time there and made many good friends, of course. But while I was enjoying my time there, other not-so-good things were happening outside of college. Let's just say, 2010 was hands-down, the
worst year of my life to date. I got mugged in April, but this wasn't all too big. I just some money and luckly got out of it alive without being stabbed... Yeah, it's fun being treatened with a knife. -_- Anyways, two weeks later on a holiday to Nice, France, while in our rental car, we pulled up to a red light at a junction. A guy came up to the passenger door, pulled it open and snatched my mother's handbag containing our passports, my DSLR and a variety of important objects. I still remember the scene clearly as he ran off in his full motocycle outside down the street with the handbag, got on the back of a scooter and drove off lol Was a GTA moment right there. This was incredibly traumatising to me as it (I suppose you could say) literally fucked my brain over. Going through two traumating events in the space of two weeks isn't exactly great. This even lead me to resort to councilling for a short period. So kids! Always remember to lock your car doors! :/
Both these events spiraled my life into Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and out of no where.. an Anxiety Disorder developed as I was properly diagnosed around second half of 2010. From the summer period of 2009 up to today, I still have difficulties in breathing due to anxiety and stress. Depersonalisation doesn't help either as this can lead me to blacking out.. I was now in a situation where if I even
thought about fainting, my body would go into a state of panic, and then I WOULD come close to fainting and then I'd feel Depersonalised. It was a horrible, vicious cycle. These days, I feel a lot better and a lot more calm as I've been given tips on how to control my breathing pattern and to stay calm. Water really does help a lot and I always carry a bottle of water around with me. I still have panic attacks some times... but they're quite rare now.
While I was slowly recovering from this, there was a certain girl who I suppose at the time I called a best friend and no.. nothing more. She was one of those people who well.. when I think about it now, just isn't worth all the bad times just for the good times. She screwed me over so many times and I suppose you could say she even ruined my life for a period. How? The amount of pointless fights, all the bitching behind my back and all the drama. I thought of her as a best friend and yeah.. she thought the same back to me, but she never acted like one. She bitched behind my back, started pointless fights and while the clever thing to do after 8 months of it was to fuck off and stop letting this person be a part of my life.. I STUPIDLY carried on because I kept on fooling myself into think she'd change. She was also one of those manipulative people who just made you think that it was all in your head and that none the problems in our friendship was due to her when everyone around me kept telling me to stop letting her back into my life. Once again, this lead me even into depression and some of the most pathetic, depressing days of my life. It's amazing how a person who is a big part of your life can rain hell on you by just screwing you over many many times. It was only up until March of this year that I told her to fuck off and get out of my life. We haven't talked since. I really am so much more of a happier person these days.. and yeah, I'm throwing away all the 'good times' but sometimes you have to ask yourself.. are all the good times with someone, worth all the bad times if the bad times affect you more than the good?
Don't waste valuable time on someone who just isn't worth your time. 2010 was full of other snippets of bad luck and down turns but I don't want to go into more detail. I suppose it just wasn't my year. As 2011 came along, I suppose things really got better. I made decisions I should've made a long time ago and stopped making things difficult for myself. Now I'm my happy self again lol just as I was in 2009. But not to say that all the events that occured took their toll on me. I suppose you could say that I really am a different person these days.
So that's all the depressing stuff.These days, I have graduated from The BRIT School and passed the course with flying colours. I recently received a letter from the University I appied for telling me I have been offcially accepted and my application status has changed from "Conditional" to "Unconditional" meaning that the place is official mine as I have met all requirements.
I am going to be studying a Bachelors in Music, more specifically Popular Music. This means I cover film music and topics from the 20th century onwards and history of popular western music. Everything from Jazz to Dance music and even to Progressive Rock. On top of this, we also cover composition which is perfect.
It feels almost weird for me to be typing what I just typed about being accepted into University cos it feels like only yesturday where I typed my post on the Argonath forums telling everyone how I'd be inactive for a few weeks as I'll be doing my GCSE exams haha! Really makes me think about how long I've been apart of this amazing, valuable community.
That's everything in a nutshell. Of course, there is so much more.. but these is all the big stuff. ..oh and I'm still working on my next album. LOL
-Miami
Guests: 421
Hidden: 0
Users: 0