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Jokes Corner

Matt Murdock · 2079

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Offline Mikal

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Reply #30 on: May 17, 2012, 02:07:37 pm
An Irishman walks past a bar.
:lol:

Don't remember where I read this.


A: I just broke up with my girlfriend!
B: Oh I'm sorry!
A: It's okay, she'll come crawling back.
B: Why?
A: I stole her wheelchair.

I lol'd but it's just mean. :lol:

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Offline JDC

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Reply #31 on: May 18, 2012, 12:17:16 am
One day, a Soviet man and an American man died. The devil then granted them a choice of which hell they would go to; Soviet Hell or American Hell. In each hell, you had to eat a bucket of shit a day, except you had to eat two buckets in Soviet Hell.

Of course, the Soviet chose Soviet Hell while the American chose the American Hell. After a week or so, the two meet again.

The Soviet asks, "So, what's it like in American Hell?"

The American replies, " "Exactly what the devil said, the Hell itself is OK, but eating a bucket of shit is killing me. And you?"

"Ah, it feels just like home - either the shit doesn't get delivered or there aren't enough buckets for everyone!"

The most important part is interacting with others and meeting people from around the world.

A Time for Rebuilding: SA:MP HQ 5-Point AgendaThe Holy Church of Argonath (Recruiting)


Offline aleksandar_gojkovic

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Reply #32 on: May 18, 2012, 10:02:20 am
One day, a Soviet man and an American man died. The devil then granted them a choice of which hell they would go to; Soviet Hell or American Hell. In each hell, you had to eat a bucket of shit a day, except you had to eat two buckets in Soviet Hell.

Of course, the Soviet chose Soviet Hell while the American chose the American Hell. After a week or so, the two meet again.

The Soviet asks, "So, what's it like in American Hell?"

The American replies, " "Exactly what the devil said, the Hell itself is OK, but eating a bucket of shit is killing me. And you?"

"Ah, it feels just like home - either the shit doesn't get delivered or there aren't enough buckets for everyone!"

A stupid nacinalist joke. That wont go without a reply!

Post Merge: May 18, 2012, 10:06:30 am
Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America......do they leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America......do they use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do they buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America.....do they use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

11. Only in America......can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House. (This was popular when Clinton was in office)

Now THAT is funny, AND true!

[/b]Better to have one girl in bed than three on your screen...[/b]


Offline Mikal

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Reply #33 on: May 18, 2012, 02:06:36 pm
One day, a Soviet man and an American man died. The devil then granted them a choice of which hell they would go to; Soviet Hell or American Hell. In each hell, you had to eat a bucket of shit a day, except you had to eat two buckets in Soviet Hell.

Of course, the Soviet chose Soviet Hell while the American chose the American Hell. After a week or so, the two meet again.

The Soviet asks, "So, what's it like in American Hell?"

The American replies, " "Exactly what the devil said, the Hell itself is OK, but eating a bucket of shit is killing me. And you?"

"Ah, it feels just like home - either the shit doesn't get delivered or there aren't enough buckets for everyone!"
:lol:

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Offline Carnage264

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Reply #34 on: May 18, 2012, 04:41:33 pm
An Irishman walks past a bar.

now thats just silly the only time i walk past bars is to go to the other one

United till i die, United til i die, I know i am im sure i am United till i die.


 


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