Your in-game name: [NP]InfernalCurse
Ban reason as was stated in-game: repeatded disrespect to players and operation of Argonath
Admin who banned you: Celebron
When you were banned: 15:37 24/10/2014
Additional notes:I'm sorry that I've been disrespectful to people.
I tried numerous times to stop, and apologize to people, and get along with people and tried to get people to be the middle man in discussions.
The other day me and Luke finally said sorry to each other, and I thought things would get better.
I told Andrew I loved him in pm the other day too.
I don't really want to be hating on people, and I think people know I don't want to?
I was going to cancel the report against gruia in SApd after he said he got angry, in game, but then later found out / minutes later found out I was banned when I came back in game, still asked for it to be cancelled, for my SAPD complaint I wanted earlier on for a sgt to look into it so we don't end up arguing or btich fighting, unfortunately it happened anyway.
I don't want btich fights with people, or to shit on them... Morally thinking, I feel it's wrong. But my personality trait i guess claims me to be a hypocrite (giving people an advice but not following it myslef)
They were all messy situations, where I lost my head a bit, and got angry, because I didn't understand, and didn't think things through.
I thought I was being myself attacked so was on the defensive, in aggressive ways, in several situations, and it's not good.
Conflicts started in role play and then went out of roleplay, and then made it difficult. I really didn't want to be disrespectful or rude or bully or to put a downer on anyone or operations of Argonath.
I was just frustrated with a lot of things, since RS5 was
created, and since other non Argonath related stuff came about.
When I reported people, or bad girled on people, few times people was talking to me when I didn't want to talk at all, and then it came out... I don't have hate for someone or plan malice.
Shit just happened and I succumbed to peoples lame provokes, which was lame in itself, I didn't have a support structure and began thinking all sorts, and not knowing what to do, drove people away because I thought they was against me and evil. Things usually began from SAPD incidents, or when suspecting criminals and they didn't think it was valid, then we argue, and it escalates.
Although not an excuse there was some cases i believe, of deliberate provocation and general unfriendly behavior, so I just returned what I felt... even tho it's not good.
I am filled with lots of regret and remorse for what I did, and really sorry to anyone I hurt. and I'm grieving for what could have been if stuff was done better.
I was in Argonath for years and didn't want to be a bad girl or anything from the offset, it just happened and I have no real excuse for it.
I just got frustrated because I couldn't do stuff like join the SAPD because of cop bans, or get my group off the ground, or situation in other stuff (CMB) which I am unable to do, because of mistakes from years ago, and feeling of not being able to have the chance to do some stuff (ATC).
But I'm sorry...
I'd love to say "you know me" but you all probably do not, because I'm going through a lot of personality and mood changes in general, but I can confirm, if put into LOTR style, I'm not planning on being an orc, but rather an elf.
Just shit happened and I didn't know how to deal with it / didn't deal with it well.
I don't think the ban reason is untrue, and understand it.
Kind Regards
Monte.
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