I failed

[Teddy]

Shout out to the newbie who helped me realize my mistakes. Honestly.

If you haven't been paying attention, I am (have) resigned from my position as a manager. While I thought this would be the end I truthfully cannot say it is. I do not think I am the person I, along with many others, had wished I was.

I told Gandalf I would fix things. I told him, I told you that I would help make things better. I didn't and I have failed. I have lied. I completely understand if people would prefer another developer take lead.

I did the best that I could and it's evident that it isn't enough. I joined with a vision with what Argonath could be and I fear I aimed to high. I got distracted and fell short and now I find myself immediately pissed off at the slightest comment of wrong doing; and now quickly harshly attacking everyone who I view as a problem. As a manager I did no better.

I will, as promised continue to manage the virtual machines, since nobody else understands how manage them.. it takes an hour a week... and at this point lead TeamSpeak. As for my involvement in SAMP.. I will let you decide if you want me to continue.

[Drix]

If you continue on SA:MP everyone else will with you. We do wan't you to continue, if you don't.. who will?

[DinoKid23]

you didnt fail ted, look at what we have right now. without the team and you, we probably wouldn't have any of it. keep going pls, you have our support 

[Chase]

I rather you decide for SA:MP... It's your life, your time, it should be your decision. As I told you many times, your skills can get to very good places in life. Yet without you Argonath would likely die. Either way, I think it should be your call.

[[HB]Estro]

No one can stop you.You will continue amd continue

[Manoni]

You are vital for this community, your efforts for trying to bring this back to life are the reason why most of the people still playing, giving up on something you've worked so hard to accomplish it would just kill everyone's hope.

[Rei]

 

[JDC]

@Teddy:

It's been a long time. From some FBI Agent I worked with in SA:MP, you've become one of the pillars of this community. Every time I came back, you've taken a step further. So it's unfortunate to see that with my final return, you're saying these things about yourself.

In the beginning, only one person (@Gandalf) expected this to last. But look where we are now - almost 10 years down the road, with 7 gamemodes for SA:MP RPG alone, around 10 past and present servers, more than a hundred past and present admins, thousands of clans and groups past and present, tens of thousands of players registered in-game and on forum. This happened because 4 friends had a vision, and people like yourself took up the same vision and helped them continue it.

As a leader, especially in a community as diverse as Argonath, it's impossible to please everyone 100%. But for every moaner and shit-talker, there are people who you've helped in at least one way. Responding to someone's /h query, saving them from a hacker, helping them find a vehicle, fixing their bugged account, teaching them a valuable lesson, making a new script - all of these make things better for people in different ways. It took me years to realize that being in the team was about this, rather than just being some role model and keeping order and rules in the server.

Argonath is not perfect. For every good player, there is a moaner / shitter. For every person awed by the new features, there's someone who will focus on their shortcomings. For every few players here to make new friends, there's a dick who just wants to piss others off. For every problem the admin team will solve, there's another that pops up. And for every hopeful, bright-eyed new moderator who joins the team, there's a tired old admin who leaves.

This beautiful community comes with a huge pain in the ass and a shitload of problems that all took a long time to amass, so fixing them will take some time as well. Just because you haven't made things better in a short time or provided a quick-fix to problems that take more than code to address, don't say that you failed. Not just yet. Beyond just being a place to have fun, this community has changed lives for the better - including yours and mine.

And it will continue to do so. In the end, whether you stay or not will be your decision.

Personally, I think what you need right now is a good, long break, rather than saying "I failed" after everything you've done. It's easy for people to learn skills (i.e. programming, team management) that can get you places in the real world, but harder to keep channeling those skills because you have a dream and a vision you want to achieve. And you did both.

Think things over and give yourself the relaxing that you owe yourself. No one is safe from burnout, after all.

[psyron]

goodbye

[SugarD]

Teddy, all I can say is to follow what your heart says. You're a good guy who has just gotten caught up in the unfortunate drama that has been a plague to Argo lately. Don't let others decide for you what you want to do. We all want to see you continue, but we also want to see you be happy. Only you know where that answer lies. Either way, we'll always support you no matter what. You're our one and only Teddy Bear, and we care about you.

[Leonardo]

I must say, Teddy, that i do not understand where your supposed failure is, as you say so. I have taken a 2-year break from Argonath, so i basically missed entire 2014-2015, so i haven't been around by most of the RS5 era, but as much as i could see, you have taken the project up, created a script from the scratch and put it to work.

The result is what we witness now: Innovations. Must say i also admire your wide vision to look foward on for things and changes, as Argonath's HQ i must say, has always been known through the history for being kinda of conservative and repulsive for both, minor and major changes that involved the mentality of the server and adaptations of other models to our reality. They have been brought up and put down to work under your command, and it has been seen it didn't really hurt! You have shown this community changes come in for benefits, and not as an attempt to disrupt some vision, or something. Therefore, it would be a terrible loss if you decided to cut all ties.

Just think about it: Unfortunately, it is a reality of the server (and that is not exclusively an Argonath's issue) that there will be always people who cry about X or Y, or perhaps not even go that far and argue, but simply disagree. Should know also that alongside with the responsability, compliments and critics will inevitably follow, man, you just need to keep up high. I'm not gonna extend myself to a longer post here, but i believe i have made a short synthesis of what i wanted to say here.

[TiMoN]

I don't understand what you failed at. Create a fun experience for the whole community? No. Revive the server from the ground? Definitely not. Keep the community alive even its been partially dead for two years? No. You want to change the entire human civilization into a smarter race, sorry a lot have tried since as you said, "the dawn of time" and failed.

Nobody can change the way kids, teens or young adults think or see life, not Ghandi, not Hitler, and definitely not you.

[TrotlDebilni]

Teddy, first of all I respect your decision, in my eyes you changed the community for the better, maybe not everyone, but you can't hope to change everyone, you changed some of them, you didn't fail, although you haven't succeeded either, but that's like a child saying "I want to be president" getting up to being in the parliament and saying "I failed". You really didn't fail dude, you changed a lot of shit for the better.

As for furthering your SAMP story.. You decide, I would love to see you online every now and than, that's for sure.

[Bruce.]

You brought the server back alive from a 1/2 years dead period where we could max see 20-30 players. You gave the server the hope to become better and to be honest, it did become better. But as always some people do not appreciate anything and are just here to fuck things around and to complain and complain about everything happens.
I do understand you and your decision. It is of course full yours to stay or to leave. All I want to say it's that you didn't fail. The players did fail (some of them), not you. You and other developers did not fail at anything. You revived a almost dead server back to something that we all liked and was fun to play on, which wasn't easy for any of us staff or players themselves.
I am 100% sure that every player that wasn't here to fuck around or to just complain 24/7 is thankful towards you as the guy who brought the hope back on the server and lead the dev team at the best you could, and ofc the other guys that worked so hard for the server.
I really hope we, players and dev team can bring the server back to it's glory again.
Recently you have told us that you have spoken with the owner about adding stuff in the server that could increase the roleplay atmosphere and he rejected some good ones, but hey. You tried, you did the best you could. To be honest, our owner( @Gandalf ) is a bit old school, ofc it's his server and the decision belongs to him, but wtf... nobody is trying to ruin the server... nobody is trying to turn it into a cops and robbers server or a 2nd paruni. NO!. We're all trying to give it the roleplay atmosphere it missed for a good 4-5 years. You want a good server? For once, let the dev team do something that 95% of the player count wants. And trust me, it will be worth a shot.

[Stivi]

You are vital for this community, your efforts for trying to bring this back to life are the reason why most of the people still playing, giving up on something you've worked so hard to accomplish it would just kill everyone's hope.

This pretty much and also this:

I don't understand what you failed at. Create a fun experience for the whole community? No. Revive the server from the ground? Definitely not. Keep the community alive even its been partially dead for two years? No. You want to change the entire human civilization into a smarter race, sorry a lot have tried since as you said, "the dawn of time" and failed.

Nobody can change the way kids, teens or young adults think or see life, not Ghandi, not Hitler, and definitely not you.

I played here since RS5.0 BETA, sometimes even played on open beta to find some bugs. If there's one update I was really looking forward to have it was RS5.2 - and I enjoyed it. I don't play LoL anymore, maybe with a couple of friends, instead I play(ed (rip me)) RS5.2. Maybe you guys did aim a little high trying to make our experience better, truth is my personal experience is much better, better than rs4. So is many others'. Maybe your vision for the server wasn't the right one - make a new one. I'll wait for someone to post the vision gif.

And please do NOT be a dramaqueen about this, you're over reacting. What does a newbie know? He's a noob.