[Unbanned][VU]Ferrari32

[[TB]ferrari32]

Full ingame name: [VU]Ferrari32
Approximate date of getting banned: I'm going to say around 2016/17 but I could be wrong.
Reason of getting banned: Flaming the head admin using anti-semitic derogatory terms and refusing to stop and/or apologize.
Further information: I disrespected the server rules, I realize my mistake, despite it being a cringy troll attempt rules are rules, and they're meant to be followed.

[Klaus]

To begin with, I believe Kessu is due a personal apology for your actions, don't you agree? Do you not have anything to say to him?

Why were you making anti-semitism / Nazi jokes? Explain your thought process and what exactly made you think, at the time, it was acceptable behaviour.

Why are you making an unban request now, and why has it taken multiple years for you to realise your mistakes?

[[TB]ferrari32]

Hi.

Regarding Kessu,

I believe I have already extended an informal apology years ago upon meeting him during an event (IIRC), but you are most definitely correct, and I do apologize for my actions.
I also believe that apologizing to Kessu does not cover the transgression however, and my opinion would be that the community is the one that is even more deserving of an apology. Words have meaning, and there are a number of people who can be affected by them, regardless of if they're the target of the conversation. To not get into the semantics of my reasoning for this, I hereby would like to extend my apology to the community as a whole.

Regarding your question about my thinking process while making those comments,

I'm not here to make up stories nor justify myself. I've said something I've found funny at the time, and disrespected both the community and the rules in doing so. I don't really have another reasoning to confer to you other than ''for lulz'', because judging from my memory that's what it was, and saying anything else would be a lie, as dumb as my reasoning was.

Regarding the timing of my unban request,

Most of you Argonath veterans know that Argonath was indeed the server that got me into VCMP. It's always going to catch my attention, especially during these summer months, when the community is the most lively.

-Why it took me multiple years to realize my mistakes?

It did not. I've realize my mistakes quite some time ago. If your question is more oriented towards why I've decided to post an unban appeal such a long time after the ban, I'd say it's a combination of many things. I suppose for a while it was out of spite, then for a while it was because of lack of time altogether, then after a while I might have forgotten about it, and then after an even longer while I started remembering it, but not having the motivation to act on it.

Better late than never.

[Klaus]

I believe I have already extended an informal apology years ago upon meeting him during an event (IIRC), but you are most definitely correct, and I do apologize for my actions.

That's not going to cut it. In fact, all I've seen from you so far, is laughing about it on other platforms, calling Kessu a "neonazi".

So, I'll be awaiting a personal apology, written and addressed to Kessu.

I don't really have another reasoning to confer to you other than ''for lulz'', because judging from my memory that's what it was

So you find anti-semitism / Nazi jokes funny? You think that's normal?

[[TB]ferrari32]

I believe I have already extended an informal apology years ago upon meeting him during an event (IIRC), but you are most definitely correct, and I do apologize for my actions.

That's not going to cut it. In fact, all I've seen from you so far, is laughing about it on other platforms, calling Kessu a "neonazi".

Unless you're talking about something that happened years ago and I don't recall, then that is not true. If you're accusing me of something, I think it would be fair to share the source of the accusation.

So, I'll be awaiting a personal apology, written and addressed to Kessu.

Regarding Kessu,

I believe I have already extended an informal apology years ago upon meeting him during an event (IIRC), but you are most definitely correct, and I do apologize for my actions.
I also believe that apologizing to Kessu does not cover the transgression however, and my opinion would be that the community is the one that is even more deserving of an apology. Words have meaning, and there are a number of people who can be affected by them, regardless of if they're the target of the conversation. To not get into the semantics of my reasoning for this, I hereby would like to extend my apology to the community as a whole.

An apology, written and addressed to Kessu. Written in public. The olive branch is extended, whether it is received is most definitely up to the other party. I don't see any logical point making three apologies more worth than one honest one. Nevertheless, I will contact Kessu in private and offer a third.

I do however have to state that I do not see the logic behind the criteria of requiring an apology to a specific person as part of an unban appeal process. I should be sorry for what I did, regardless of who I did it to.

So you find anti-semitism / Nazi jokes funny? You think that's normal?

No, and no.

Regarding your question about my thinking process while making those comments,

I'm not here to make up stories nor justify myself. I've said something I've found funny at the time, and disrespected both the community and the rules in doing so. I don't really have another reasoning to confer to you other than ''for lulz'', because judging from my memory that's what it was, and saying anything else would be a lie, as dumb as my reasoning was.

I obviously do not, as I have previously stated. I feel this last remark is pulled out of context. The question you've specifically asked, and I answered was: ''What was I thinking at that time?''.

[Klaus]

I do not see the logic behind the criteria of requiring an apology to a specific person as part of an unban appeal process. I should be sorry for what I did, regardless of who I did it to.

When you choose to insult someone, as you did, then you should out of courtesy apologise to that person directly.

I obviously do not, as I have previously stated. I feel this last remark is pulled out of context. The question you've specifically asked, and I answered was: ''What was I thinking at that time?''.

Is it obvious though? I mean you've got to be a bit wrong in the head to think something related to Nazism is funny, at whatever time or place. So we've clarified at that time you thought it was funny. That rings major alarm bells.

[[TB]ferrari32]

I do not see the logic behind the criteria of requiring an apology to a specific person as part of an unban appeal process. I should be sorry for what I did, regardless of who I did it to.

When you choose to insult someone, as you did, then you should out of courtesy apologise to that person directly.

Which is what I've done three times now.

Is it obvious though? I mean you've got to be a bit wrong in the head to think something related to Nazism is funny, at whatever time or place. So we've clarified at that time you thought it was funny. That rings major alarm bells.

Thank you for assesing my mental health on a video game forum. I'll speak to my girlfriend, she's a psychologist.

[Klaus]

To the point now. I'm not comfortable letting anyone, including yourself, into this community who would find Nazi jokes funny. FYI I would ban Ricky Gervais as well if he made such comments. If you don't pass our mental assessments, you're not welcome here.

[[TB]ferrari32]

To the point now. I'm not comfortable letting anyone, including yourself, into this community who would find Nazi jokes funny. FYI I would ban Ricky Gervais as well if he made such comments. If you don't pass our mental assessments, you're not welcome here.

I'm not here for a mental assesment, that's something done by professionals who go to school for years to earn a degree. I've apologized and acknowledged my past mistakes, and I've vowed not to break such rules again. My mental health is of absolutely no concern to you, and I find such comments or insinuations vulgar.

Whether you unban me or not is your decision, but I won't stand being insulted over words spoken years ago.

[Nylez]

Don't see it as a personal attack, we just want to make sure you never repeat something like this again. An apology is nice, acknowledgement is good, but we need to be sure that it definitely won't happen again.

Making you face your past actions and see how you deal with them is one of the things that needs to be done to make sure you've truly left it behind you.

"Mental assessment"

Is there anything else you would like to say regarding this unban appeal?

[[TB]ferrari32]

Thank you for taking the time to explain the process I'm going through right now. If what you describe is the case, I've been viewing things from a wrong perspective.

I don't really have much to add to the posts I've already made, I am however willing to answer any questions the staff team might have.

[[TB]ferrari32]

Update;

Since the day of my unban application I've given some effort to reach out to the current community through the discord server. I've been very happy to see a lot of guys I've been acquainted with before in the past, and have also made some new acquaintances. I believe some good stepping stones have been put in place on the path of reconciling with the argonath community.

Are there any updates from the administration team?

[Klaus]

I'm not here for a mental assesment, that's something done by professionals who go to school for years to earn a degree. My mental health is of absolutely no concern to you, and I find such comments or insinuations vulgar. Whether you unban me or not is your decision, but I won't stand being insulted over words spoken years ago.

We will assess you and make sure you are not going to be a problem to this community. If you're not happy with that, you can close the request. As Nylez quite rightly stated, this is not an insult to you, but rather an outcome of your own actions, whether spoken years, months, or days ago. We decide who is welcome here, and our judgement is based on your own actions.

I've apologized and acknowledged my past mistakes, and I've vowed not to break such rules again.

An apology is nice, acknowledgement is good, but we need to be sure that it definitely won't happen again.

I haven't seen enough. So far we've clarified you have had the tendency in the past to make poor decisions and terrible jokes. You had no other reasoning for your actions other than you thought it was funny at the time. Well ok, and how about now? Why don't you save me the trouble of spoon feeding this request, and anaylse your own past-self? Let's see if you can properly see where you went wrong and that you've changed for the better, maybe even matured.

Hint:

I realize my mistake, despite it being a cringy troll attempt

This is not enough.

[[TB]ferrari32]

I understand what you're telling me, but I have some difficulty putting my thoughts into words. I'll try anyway.

I've always had a big ego, and everyone who knows me can confirm that. I'm also a very stubborn person, though much less than what I happened to be a few years ago. Am I better/more mature now than I used to be? Honestly I'd like to believe I am, but I don't think I should be the one to judge myself on that. I don't condone a lot of things I said and did in life, as I had a ''I don't give a shit'' attitude, which I've with time learned is obviously bad.

Why is it bad?

Because I was insensitive and had no filter. To be honest, the subject of this appeal pales in comparison to other things I've said to other people in the past, and now regret. Much more outside of this game than inside of it. I was self centred, and didn't care about how my words and actions might actually affect the target of conversation. I just told everyone whatever the hell crossed my mind and didn't think about it for longer than a few minutes.
Around a year ago I met an ex colleague of mine from high school. We started chatting about school times obviously. Hearing someone recount events in a completely different manner than what I did shocked me quite a bit. The guy tells me about a ton of things that happened involving me back then, excstatic about the good times. Meanwhile I took a minute and thought to myself; Damn, you really were an asshole sometimes.

Regarding the request itself. I am sorry for the way I acted. If I wasn't, I wouldn't be here. I understand your concerns about my behavior, and I understand you're definitely within right to deny this request, as this wasn't even the first time I was banned. I do however hope we can put it behind us, and maybe create better memories on the server.

[Klaus]

I am sorry for the way I acted. If I wasn't, I wouldn't be here.

We're past the apologies now. Kessu has accepted your apology. Now I want to see you prove to me you've changed.

I've always had a big ego, and everyone who knows me can confirm that. I'm also a very stubborn person, though much less than what I happened to be a few years ago.

So will this ego still cause problems like before? How will you act when you're punished by the administration? Are you too stubborn to see your mistakes, to admit fault?

I don't condone a lot of things I said and did in life, as I had a ''I don't give a shit'' attitude, which I've with time learned is obviously bad. Because I was insensitive and had no filter.

Indeed, we have established what your attitude was like in the past, and that's why you've got quite the colourful history. It's why I also have doubts still. However, tell me about yourself now, in the present. Would you still describe yourself as insensitive, with no filter? Are you capable of making terrible, offensive jokes in future?