Alright, listen up.
Leading a faction costs lots of time and pacients.
It is very hard to lead a big and succesfull faction.
I like the way that you give it a try, you sould not care about what other people think about your faction.
Its the so called "They hate me because they fear me".
Maybe you sould get a background of the people first before accepting them.
Just do what you think is good, don't care about the big talkers

Also, if leading a faction gives you a bad feeling, then just don't do it.
For leading a faction you also need some experience, you see lots of these big mafia family's, but they almost don't even RP with eachother and most of them are lone wolfs.
If you wanna lead a big,RPing and strong faction, you need to work for it every day.
Your the boss, you make the rules.
If a member is deathmatching, then its your fault, its your job to train them because they represent your faction.
And thats a code of honour you accept if a person joins your faction, so always think twise before accepting somebody.
If the member you recruited make you feel bad, just kick them in the ass.
Don't care about the fools who f**k up, don't care about how many members you have.
Care about the skill, honour and the respect you get.
And care for the people who will fight with you till the end.
If you ever need tips, you can always PM me.