Jokes,Funny stories,Etc

[Altair_Carter]

New York City,Manhattan.
An old little granny went to owner of the famous bank.
She set a wager on,that she will make owner's of the bank balls square-like(lol) for 5 KK $ in 1 Day.The owner accepted it.She also said that she will come with a lawyer.

On the next day,in the morning he (owner) looks in the bath at his balls,thinks they are alright.He came to his office in the bank and waited for the granny.Soon as she came with her lawyer.Banker said:
B(anker):I won.You did NOTHING to my balls,they are alright for me?
G(ranny):Is that so? Let me touch them to be sure.
He allowed Granny to touch them.She touched,sees nothing happened.Suddenly her lawyer began hit his head against wall.Banker suprised
B:Why is he hitting himself?
G:Oh,its just i bet him on 10 KK $ that i will touch your balls,thats all.

[Alsatian]

New York City,Manhattan.
An old little granny went to owner of the famous bank.
She set a wager on,that she will make owner's of the bank balls square-like(lol) for 5 KK $ in 1 Day.The owner accepted it.She also said that she will come with a lawyer.

On the next day,in the morning he (owner) looks in the bath at his balls,thinks they are alright.He came to his office in the bank and waited for the granny.Soon as she came with her lawyer.Banker said:
B(anker):I won.You did NOTHING to my balls,they are alright for me?
G(ranny):Is that so? Let me touch them to be sure.
He allowed Granny to touch them.She touched,sees nothing happened.Suddenly her lawyer began hit his head against wall.Banker suprised
B:Why is he hitting himself?
G:Oh,its just i bet him on 10 KK $ that i will touch your balls,thats all.

lmao, that was a good one, did you get that off a website or made it up? 

[Altair_Carter]

From a website,though :P

[Altair_Carter]

Today, my boyfriend told me that we would be living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up, ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

Today, my father pulled me aside right before heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your short's pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML

[Freedom]

lol FML

If you wanna read FMLs, goto www.fmylife.com

[Oliver]

If a black person, a russian and a gypsy are together in a police car, then who is driving?
A cop.

What happens when you cross a black person and a gypsy?
A thief who's too lazy to steal.

(no offense D

[Altair_Carter]

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

[Jubin]

Bump, yes Bump, because life is a flower.

Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML

[MrFrancis]

Bump, yes Bump, because life is a flower.

OMG LOL +1