[GTA] Funny radio advertisements/chats

[JayL]

Post here any funny chatting/advertisement that you listen to on the radio while you're playing GTA. 

I'll start with the Cluckin' Bell one from SA:

I love chicken with a shitty smell, and that's why I love Cluckin' Bell!

[Altair_Carter]

Police radio in the GTA SA:

.....at Chinatown.
Which Chinatown?
Chinatown in San Fierro,you chump!

*some odd conversation*
Fuck you!
Fuck you too !

Radio advertisement

.....Kill em en jorrow!.....

[Dave]

"We got a 4-19 in Blueberry involving a washing machine"


Those Blueberry folk sure are crazy

[Squeak]

"BACK WHEN WE KICKED AUSTRALIA'S ASS!"

"If I shoot him, do I get a medal?!"

"The party ain't over 'til everyone's pregnant."

[tiderman]

(sound of man coughing)

Woman: Sounds like you got a nasty cough!

Man: Yeah?  No shit.

Woman: Here baby- try this.

Man: Sooth?

Woman: Yeah!  Sooth annihilates cough and cold symptoms.

(sound of drinking from the bottle)

Man: Wow!  I’m seeing donkeys!

Woman: Ha ha! That’s the patented cough-killing concoction of codeine,
morphine, and alcohol.  Your cold will be history!  How’s your cold now?

Man (drunk): Who the hell are you?

Woman: I’m your wife, fool!

Man 2: Sooth kills a cough fast.  And for the kid’s chesty cough, it’s Sooth
Junior, the medication that comes in a fun, animal-shaped container kids will
love.

Boy: Hey, look at me!  I’m binging on medication, just like dad!  Oohhh...

(thud)

Woman: Oh my God, he’s barely breathing!

Man: No... that’s, that's just the medicine doing it’s magic.

Man 2: Thanks to Sooth, his cough is history.  With Sooth, you’ll forget you
had a cough, your name, or where to properly go to the bathroom.  Feel better
fast- with Sooth.

[JayL]

The Sooth advertisement is the funniest 

[Janar]

I don't remember all, but something like this:

Woman: I want new fence
Man: We just got one 2 years ago when my parents were killed!
Woman: I want a new fence! That's it! We are never gonna have sex again!

[9r2e5i3k]

(sound of man coughing)

Woman: Sounds like you got a nasty cough!

Man: Yeah?  No shit.

Best one ever.

[Cutt3r]

For me nothing beats maurice chavez on vcpr...the talk about morality was just too well written. a few convos are below :

First one

Barry Stark(a nudist): “Clothes leads to immorality! Nudity stops people from fighting! Have you seen that issue on National Geographic lately? People around the world are nude. You don’t want to shoot a machinegun, or a Howard, or a flame thrower, if you’re naked! It could burn or scald in quite a personal fashion! Quite frankly..! Have you been to the zoo? Animals are naked! If every one was naked, there would be no war! Everybody is complaining about crime, theft of cars in the city. No one ever stolen my car! No one's ever pickpocketed me! They never even tried!”

Pastor Richards: “That’s because you are a degenerated loony!”

Second one

Jonathan Freeloader(during a break) : "Back to maurice in the studio! (in a hushed voice) useless, talentless, a**hole"
Michelle Montanius(during a break): “You’re correct, he is an a**hole!”


Maurice Chavez(immediately after the break): “I love those guys!

I found that show sooo funny xD

[Rusty]

Mike Andrews Ad -


Man: Coming soon to the Los Santos Convention Center- it’s Mike Andrews!

Mike: Understand that it’s okay to be poor!  There need to be poor people!  We
rich are the yin.  You are the yang!  We need you!

Man: He’s changed millions of lives with his book, ‘Rags are Riches.’  Now hear
Mike Andrews live!

Man 2: Mr. Andrews?  I, I’ve been having a run of bad luck, and I was wondering
if the state could help me get back on my feet.

Mike: This is the kind of negative, obsessed, and greedy talk that doesn’t help
anyone.  My program will teach you a new outlook on life.  Instead of
complaining about being poor, enjoy it!  Watch TV!  Don’t vote!  Who cares?

Man 2: But I’m homeless!

Mike: You’ve got it all wrong!  Society doesn’t owe you anything!  The
government has better things to worry about.  Like killing innocent people! 
You already have everything you need, so enjoy your life!

Man: See Mike Andrews live for only two hundred dollars, payable in ten
installments!  Reserve your seat today

[Julian]

Never heard the OG Loc interview on WCTR? Here it is.. damn hiilarious 
The whole interview is very funny xD

[Caltson]

Hey, i can see my house from here ! 

[tiderman]

I love that guy Lazlow Jones (the guy that coproduced all the radio stations in the GTA series). His shows rocks!

[Jcstodds]

Im a massive fan of the GTA radio series, I have them all the commercials downloaded ...

   I created 2 ALS adverts in the GTA style about a year ago:
http://lv-als.argonathrpg.com/Media/ALS%20advert%201.mp3
http://lv-als.argonathrpg.com/Media/ALS%20Advert%202.1.mp3

 I  will post some of my favourite transcripts once I find my GTA Stuff DVD, cause I dont have radio on ingame