I dont have a title for this...

[Nexxt]

Hello Argonathians.

I was thinking for some days if I should do it or not.
Because its quite personally and maybe I gave me more problems.

But as u guys now, the last time I am changed a lot.
In real life I am really depressed and Argonath is one of my favourite places to be.
I take the game very serious as it calms me down after the real life stress I have.

But in real life everything is so shit, here I have some reasons:

1. Girlfriend died in car-accident
2. Cousin got cancer
3. Mom got brestcancer
4. School is going very bad
5. Problems with some friends IRL.
6. more and more.

Part 1 ,2 and 3 I cant change.
Other I am busy to change with.

I have 2 behaveiour problems:
- I have ADHD (Search on Internet, Its ment to be very (hyper) active)
- I have a concentration problem.

Ingame some weeks it gone very well, but after that I gone downhill again.
One of the reasons people do NOT like me is my asslicking.

I didnt saw it as asslicking, I saw it as doing my best to get a good view on admins.
Because I really wanted to be an admin as that would fit in my image of getting a bigger space of my attempts to change Argonath.
Of course change to the right way, I am fighting for the rights of the players, but its very bad that I have to do that(read: want to do)
Because when I am telling some true things I get banana'd by admisn because I am provoking.
But I dont saw that all the time as provoking, I would just come up for my rights and after that warnings I am that pissed of that I will be kicked or even worse.

The kick out of AV did me look on the whole view and realised this aint the right way to change, I will try it other now.
But I am really annoying by calling asslicker as my only target was to be nice to admins, because I have been an asshole before.
But that part didnt helped and made me an asshole again maybe.

With this topic I want to apologize to every single people who got some non-needed reaction by me.
Please believe me this is frustrating and I am so f**ked up IRL that I cannot thing well anymore.
I am only damaging myself more and more(physical, no EMO).

I would really to get people known about this, again sorry to ALL.
Especialy to admins who got disrespected by me, I am really sorry.

Oh and a last message:

If u want to provoke, or if u do hate me and want to post a bad message.
Do NOT post here!!

I will not leave Argonath untill I fixed some things, I siad that I would leave but I tried to let people think with that.
But people wont think then, so its useless....

Please remember also that I never ment to:
- Hurt someone
- Asslicker an admin
- Getting trouble
- Flame u so deep that u are very pissed off.


1000th post also

[Tai]

Nexxt & Tai



Best friends 4 eva!

GL with fixing problems IRL contact me whenever you feel like it!

[Janar]

I remember that when you told about your girlfriend.
We were talking on MSN.
You're life isn't going well.
I hope you can get all things fine.
If you need any help, you can find me on MSN!

Your best friend,
Janar

[ChaNce]

Seriously dude, I feel sorry for ya.
No clue what to say, just ....I think Argonath is absolutely NOT the right place for beeing sad etc.
Life goes on, stay with your mother and give her the best days of her life and let her see that you love her.
Same goes to your cousin, show him love and respect as he is your "brother".
To your girlfriend, this may sound stupid..but visit her grave..and "try to talk to her", pray for her,thats how you get in contact, religion is a good way.
School? Same goes for me, try to learn hard and study everything you got, I know Argonath will be in your back of the head, but keep your eyes on the schoolbooks and do yourself a favor.
Problems with friends IRL ? If they are bullying you or anything...fuck them..they arent friends if they DONT support you in THIS situation.

ADHD is hard I know, but try to calm down...do it for your girlfriend..mother..cousin.

Peace  

[Carbon]

I like you dude, and i hope you can handle your life. Be good and see you soon.

Think about all good what you have in life and try to forgot all bad.

Contact me if you want to say something to me

[Dave]

I'm here if you need me

[Fabio]

I also feel sorry for you, From what I've seen, your a nice guy.

[Bianconeri]

you are a really good and normally nice guy,
wish you good luck IRL,
you have to get through it,

personally in my mind its a disaster too,
i have no clue what to do further in my life,
really confused, and even kinda depressed,
but you will have to get through it,
standing still with it wont help you

good luck

[TruthSvensson]

oha

[Bianconeri]

oha

where is that needed for jack,
just leave him alone with strange answers...please....

[Nexxt]

oha

If u want to provoke, or if u do hate me and want to post a bad message.
Do NOT post here!!

Why I knew u didnt gave a damn about it.
Why I knew before u should post a useless comment?

Because I KNOW, that u are always doing this.
EVen u do not have respect for people in trouble.

I wish no-one what I feel, but U have to feel it for 1 week and I wanna look how u handle, if u didnt suicided yet.
As its quite depressing and life-ruining and I though about suicide 3 times.
So what u gonna do.

If u do not know what to say, if u dont have any life-experience.
Then u just need to put the topic next to u, this is not the right place for u. Jack.

And thanks for all your support guys.
I appreciate that very much. You're all friends!!

[Mangus]

Good luck with life, Nexxt. I hope it'll solve out for you.

[Fabio]

oha

Phail

[Jserg]

Posting that topic means a lot for us and you Nexxt, telling how your life is in some Online friends that you might never meet IRL isnt that hard.. The hard thing on posting a topic is the reaction of the others, that might hurt you more.. Im really happy that are a lot people here on Argonath that supports you. Most people here including me will support you for ever...

You might think.. Why i dont got a good life? Others got everything.. But think about the other side.. a lot of people dont got parents, friends, a PC and internet, Online friends that you can share your feelings... What i am telling... Whatever


Keep up Nexxt.. keep your head high and never let it down.... Life is bad guy, and will be for ever...
You may thought about suiciding? right? So what? Suicide isnt a solution... Solution is to fight back the bad things that happens your life..You might tell me, My Girl died, i cant bring her back..You cant do anything for it, just to forget it.. Thinking about her will make you more and more sad


If you want to talk with me come to MSN

Good luck Nexxt and Have fun in your life

[Jserg]

oha

And im sure about you that you didnt even read the topic, and you came here because you dont got a life and you didnt know what else to do ...