Chuck Norris Facts

[Uninhibited]

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can count to 10 in 2 seconds.

Chuck Norris turns the sun off at night.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because he's afraid of the dark but because the dark is afraid of Chuck

Chuck Norris once donated blood to one man, he's now known as Superman

The only time Chuck Norris made a mistake was when he thought he made a mistake

Chuck Norris can solve a rubix cube in one single turn.

Chuck Norris plans to roundhouse kick himself in the face on December 21, 2012


I found them really funny

[Altair_Carter]

I can't believe someone still doesn't know this.

It's older than the Internet itself.

[[NP]Monte Montague]

I can't believe someone still doesn't know this.

It's older than the Internet itself.

What was the point of this post?

[cabe]

- Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father.

- Once, Chuck Norris punched a sea. Today, that sea is called the Dead Sea.

[Altair_Carter]

What was the point of this post?

The point of that post, Mr Smartypants, was to point out that this shit about Chuck Norris facts have already been said in the past.

Clear enough now?

[Uninhibited]

Altair, I can assure you that people in Argonath haven't seen them. Because YOU have read them - that doesn't mean I can't post them. So stop being a Smartypant, Mr. smartypant.

[~Legend~]

Lol, I love the Chuck Norris jokes.