Rate the joke of person above you.

[Mr.Joker]

Well, the title is saying all. Here are some rules :
- no racialist jokes
- w/e respect the forum rules  :P  and do not go off-topic.


"Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did."

[MrTony]

6/10 
Never argue with a fool, they will lower you to their level, and then beat you with experience.

[Mr.Joker]

7/10 is a good one 

"Teamwork is essential; it allows you to blame someone else."

[[SE]Dr_Pepper27]

7/10

"                                          " - Hellen Keller

[Alaska]

0/10 no joke there


A man died and went to straight down to hell. The devil greeted him and gave him a guided tour of the place. He told the man that there were three rooms he could chose from in which to spend eternity. The first room was full of flames so hot the man couldn't even breathe. He told the devil that there was no way he was choosing that room. So they moved on.
The next room they came to was full of people who were being beaten and tortured. It looked so painful the man could not watch. He told the devil he definitely didn't want that room, and they moved on.
The last room they came to was full of people who were just sitting around drinking coffee and relaxing. The only thing was that they were standing around in about two feet of poop. The man looked for a while and then told the devil this room would be all right.
The devil gestured for him to sit down and the man took a seat. He did, sipped his coffee and felt really pleased with his choice. After a few minutes, a voice came over the loudspeaker and said, "Break time is over! Back on your heads!"

[Tanker]

0/10 i'll not read whats there

mader fukers,  If Remo_Gulucan was here, no arttuse farkos has left here.
Panda you stoll remo house hq and bizz, fuke you mader fuker.
all the admins can fuke off you are all liers and you ben samiir fuke you

[Alaska]

thats not nice + flam ... 0/10

Blonde in Library

A blonde walks into a library and says, "Can I have a burger and fries?"
The librarian says, "I'm sorry, this is a library."
So the blonde whispers, "Can I have a burger and fries?"

[Tanker]

10/10 - AHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAH FANNY HAHHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAOMGOMGOMG

Theres was 2 guise, one died

[Ness]

10/10.

Kk, so there was this lawyer, he died and went to hell. He found himself in a room full of clocks with the devil in it.
After examining all the clocks, the lawyer turned to the devil and said, "I have two questions. First, why does each clock move at a different speed?"

"They turn at the rate at which the members of that occupation collectively sin on earth," replied the devil.

"What's your second question?"

"Well," said the lawyer. "I can't seem to find my occupation. Where is the 'lawyers' clock?"

The devil momentarily looked confused, and he started checking the clocks. "They should all be here," he muttered, looking frantically, "It has to be here somewhere... Oh, there will be Hell to pay for this."

Suddenly, the devil relaxed, slapped himself on the forehead, and exclaimed, "Oh, yes! How silly of me. We keep that clock in the workshop and use it for a fan."

[TheGreasyChopper]

3/10 Didnt really get it.

So there is this dude stuck in an island with a few island tribes, he goes to the first tribe's village and the chief goes to him and asks him:

So, you are in our village there are two choices for you: Bunga Bunga or Death?

And ofcourse as our character is a life loving man he says, Bunga Bunga ofcourse! So the ten men with the biggest penises in the tribe did him anally.

So, our guy goes to the next village and the 2nd chief asks "Bunga Bunga or Death?" Our man still hasnt lost the will to live and says "Banga Banga, no way Im dying now..." so the 10 men of this tribe do the same as the 10 from the first.

This happens a few times again, and on the 5th time he goes to the 5th village, the chief asks him "Banga Banga or death?" Our guy's ass is bleeding and hurts like hell, so he says "I cant take it anymore! Death!".

And the chief proudly announces "DEATH BY BUNGA BUNGA!"

[JDC]

10/10 for Ness' and 9/10 for GreasyChopper's.
 
Now, my turn.
 
WARNING: IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH, PLEASE ABSTAIN FROM READING.
 
Three guys were stranded in the desert. In the middle of it, they come upon an empty gas station with a house  beside it. One of the guys ventures into the house while the two stay outside, looking for anything that might aid him in escape.
 
He happens to find an old lady who offers him a map out of the place, but one one simple condition.
 
"f**k me first.", said the old lady.
 
Now, the guy took a look at the old lady. Her skin was wrinkled, warty, dark, and blemished all over, like someone took a crocodile with leprosy and raised that to the power of ten. No way he was having sex with this old hag, hell no... but he needed a way out.
 
By chance or some miracle, he happened to eye a table with three peaces of corn on top, so he told the old woman to lie on her back. He took one of the corn cobs, and used it to fake sexual intercourse with the old lady by using it like a dildo. After he was finished, he threw the corn out the window.
 
"That was the greatest f**k I've had in decades", said the old lady after handing him the map. She offered him a jeep to get out of the desert if he did it again.
 
So he made her lie on her back again, then repeated the process with the second cob of corn. After that, he threw it out the window.
 
Still not satisfied, the old lady offered him fuel for the jeep if he did it again. So he repeated the process with the last cob of corn, then threw it out the window. After bidding the old lady goodbye, he walked out of the house with a map and a jeep full of fuel.
 
Then, he ran into his two companions who asked him:
 
"Dude, where have you been? We just ate the tastiest cobs of corn we ever tasted in our lives!"

[Mr.Joker]

10/10 
 
In the newspaper has been written about the first man who was killed by an overdose of Viagra. A man took 12 pills of Viagra and his wife died ...

[Alaska]

9/10 hahaha 

What is the longest word in the English language?
SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map.
Maria: This is it.
Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?
Class: Maria did.

When I was young I didn't like going to weddings.
My grandmother would tell me, "You're next"
However, she stopped doing that after I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.

[Mr.Joker]

6/10

Mary: John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do you think, Peter?
Peter: I think you're pretty ugly.

[JDC]

6/10, poor girl.
 
After having sex, a guy sees a picture of another guy on the bedside table of his GF.
 
GUY: Is that your dad?
 
GIRL: No.
 
GUY: Your ex?
 
GIRL: No.
 
GUY: Your brother?
 
GIRL: No.
 
GUY: Then who IS that?
 
GIRL: That was me before the surgery. Handsome, isn't it?