Documentary: Top 5 - Most Deadly Creatures of Argonath!

[TheLegitHabibi]

Argonath Documentary Presents: 

Top 5 Most Deadly Creatures of Argonath
By: James Bond

We take you closer to the Top 5 Most Deadly Creatures of Argonath. With detailed descriptions including, usual habitat, the elements that threaten the creature, and from the author's own experience, ProTip, in case you encounter a creature in your mystical life at Argonath.







5 - The Balla

Usual Habitat:
This creature is mostly found in the areas around Idlewood. More specifically, GS9.

This purple creature, makes it to the 5th position of our ranking. With it's usual habit of remaining 'idle', it may seem calm and friendly to the eye. The fact that it's dangerous is it's usual possession of lethal weapons. This creature if threatened doesn't think twice before using it's lethal weapons in eliminating you. Often found in groups, which makes them even more deadly.

Threatened by:
Freecops and the colour green.

ProTip for an Encounter:
If you come into an encounter with a balla, it's best to say 'hi' and leave the area.




4 - The Luciano

Usual Habitat:
Concentrated numbers found at Marina. Diluted quantities at various drug spots.

A Luciano is no doubt a deadly creature. What makes it even more deadlier, is it's possession of much more lethal weapons and skills. A Luciano is almost always found in a group along with a moderate Body Armour. It makes it to the 4th position, not only because if you mess with one, it will come back with it's group to haunt you, but also because unlike a Balla, it doesn't think at all before attacking you.

Threatened by:
Everything except another Luciano

ProTip for an Encounter:
If for any reason you encounter this creature, it's best to praise Acika and appreciate their skills. And of course, run like hell.




3 - The Gvardia

Usual Habitat:
Queens, San Fierro.

This creature is cunning, skilled, and well equipped. They are financially stable and possess fast vehicles, lethal weapons and deadly skills. Officers often tend to wait for backup before encountering it. Due to it's cunning nature, if it faces threat it will evade in its dark maroon vehicle, get prepared, regrouped, and gets ready to pounce back. This makes it almost impossible to hunt it down. With it's skills, intellect and ability, it achieves the 3rd Position in our ranking.

Threatened by:
Blue dots.

ProTip for an Encounter:
There are 3 easy ways through which you can easily get yourself out of danger from this creature.
Run.
Run faster.
Run even faster.




2 - Ben Samiir

Usual Habitat:
SWAT HQ, Los Santos. Although often found at SWAT HQs at LV and SF as well.

This specie is a one of a kind. It's fast, it's lethal, and it's deadly. Almost always found in a buffalo, heavily armed with M4 and combat with a advanced Body Armour. This unique specie is said to be the most skilled at driving a buffalo. However, it achieves the podium rank of 2, because if you are wanted by the law for murder, not only will it initiate an attack on you itself, it will also summon the entire fucking SWAT on your ass. With their excellent teamwork, equipment and communication, he doesn't need a hunter to hunt down an NRG. Soon you will find yourself under attack from 3-5 buffalos, coming from not only all 4 sides, but also 4th and 5th dimentions of time as well. With fast drivers, and accurate M4 drive-byers they take you down within seconds. They arrive, attack and leave before the normal law enforcement officers arrive, under the command of Ben Samiir,  and this makes him the 2nd most deadliest creature of Argonath. 

Threatened by:
Orange dots wanted for murder.

ProTip for an Encounter:
/GU.




1 - The Freecop

Usual Habitat:
Areas around Pershing Square and Idlewood. Although this creature is classed as the most mobile, as it is seen almost everywhere around the globe. 

This creature, more formally known as The ARPD Officer, is deadlier than death itself. Possessing a nitestick, pepper spray, one of the most deadly weapons, the deagle, and enough authority to declare you a criminal in the eyes of every fucking cop in the server, this species easily wins the top rank among the Most Deadliest Creatures of Argonath. Only by possessing a fast car and a Body Armour, it will automatically assume that you are the most notorious criminal in Argonath History, who is going to evade it's traffic stop. Not only does it attack every orange thing it sees, it will also fine you $250, whether you drive recklessly or normally, or whether you ram it, or get rammed by it.

Threatened by:
Nothing. 

ProTip for an Encounter:
Do whatever the fuck it says.




Disclaimer:
This article was written by James Bond, on 20th September 2012. This is meant for informational purposes only, and is accurate in descriptions, details, and information provided. This article was proof-read and made sure that it does not offend any group, family or person. Should there by any reason that you feel offended by it, you are most welcome to contact the author and if we feel that your claim is valid, we shall edit the article and most certainly, apologize.

[Teddy]

Blue Buffalo* 

Pretty creative, good work.

[Devin]

Now this was some entertaining reading, good work. 

[KhornateMonkey]

Should be top 10 man

[Omar Aly]

Wanna make that into a movie?

[aleksandar_gojkovic]

Whell, this is AWESOME

BUT:

Id place ballas on podium 3 or 4 because, whell, you got it a bit wrong:

Ballas are threathened only by freecops, green dots are eliminated easily, and no matter are you black or white, youre gonna get beaten or shot, unless you wear purple!

[Jellyfish]

Awesome 

[Acika]

For long time i havent read something interesting like this

Nice one JB !

[Ethan.]

This is so hilarious, good job James 

[TheLegitHabibi]

Whell, this is AWESOME

BUT:

Id place ballas on podium 3 or 4 because, whell, you got it a bit wrong:

Ballas are threathened only by freecops, green dots are eliminated easily, and no matter are you black or white, youre gonna get beaten or shot, unless you wear purple!

Threatened. Like scared of something to an extent that you attack it. Whether you succeed in doing so, or not. Cheers.

[[WS]Jacob]

Great job, I hope people will take this a light joke and not take it too seriously.

[Cutt3r]

Like the others said, awesome work, a very interesting read. Consider making a documentary video with narration, music and some great actors doing all the funny things you put in there!

[Omar Aly]

Video will be done, Narration by Stefano Gvardia, Video by Omar Collin, Editing by James Bond... await it soon 

[Primus]

This super awesome, i have no words. :wow:
Very interesting in reading.
Nice job JB.
 :cool: :cool:

[Mashgash]

Nicely done my friend!