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My Attempt at a Scary Story

Grizz · 348

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Offline GrizzTopic starter

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on: June 09, 2013, 10:59:38 am
After listening to peoples scary stories all night in TeamSpeak I decided to write my own, please leave a comment on what you think. this is my first attempt.

Grizz's Horror Story:

“Do not make me call your name a third time, young lady!”
Colleen held her breath, motionless, eyes wide open. She wouldn’t go without a fight this time.
“You have until three to get out here, Colleen! If I have to come find you, you’re going to be in big trouble! One...two...three! That’s it!”
Colleen’s heart raced as she heard her mother’s footsteps getting louder. She was starting to deeply regret hiding in the same spot she used last time. Why not under the bed? Why not in the cupboard? Why—
“Got you!” her mother shouted as she swung open the closet door.
Colleen yelped in surprise and tried to make a run for it. She was an easy catch, though, and her mother scooped her up in one swift move.
“Angela, you put me me down now!” shrieked Colleen.
“You’re going to be grounded until you’re 30 if you think you can shout orders at me...and stop calling me Angela. It’s Mom to you, missy.”
“What kind of mother puts her child in such danger?” Colleen shouted angrily.
“You should really audition for the school play,” her mother grunted dryly as she struggled to hold on to a squirming Colleen. “You are the most dramatic child in existence. It is just a bath. Enough!”
Colleen froze as she saw the bathroom come in sight and began to tremble. Her mother shut the door behind them and began running both taps.
“No!” Colleen screamed as her mother unscrewed the lid to bubble bath. “I need to be able to see!”
“Fine!” her mother snapped. “Just get clean. It has been two days. This is ridiculous. You’re way too old for this. You have ten minutes. Not a minute more, not a minute less.”
Colleen felt her stomach lurch into her throat as her mother plopped her into the water and walked away, shaking her head and muttering something about hosing her down in the backyard next time. Her eyes immediately fell on the drain. All seemed normal, calm, and quiet—but that was how it had seemed last time, too.
The big white squishy loofah dangled from the hot water knob, just over the drain. Colleen reached her hand out and slowly inched closer and closer, her eyes locked on the drain. Closer, no sign of anything yet, closer, the loofah just a few inches from her tiny fingers now. She pinched the sponge and pulled until she heard a noise that made her whole body freeze.
A loud groaning of pipes ran loudly through the wall to her right, making Colleen jump and splash water all over the floor. The creaking grew louder as it travelled up the wall and over her head in the ceiling, then down the wall to her left, then beneath her, louder still, until it she heard it stop just below the drain.
Colleen panted, gripping the sides of the tub, her eyes fixed on the little black holes of the drain, waiting.
“Colleen.”
Her eyes widened. She heard her name whispered and then a solitary bubble pushed through one of the little black holes, slowly floating to the surface. It hit the surface, lingered, and then, just as it popped, Colleen felt a rush of water behind her, like what she felt in the lazy river at the water park. The water grew murky and starting pulling her toward the drain.
“Angela! Mom! Anybody! Help!” Colleen gasped as her clawed uselessly at the slippery tub surrounding her. “No! Not down there! Please!”
The pull grew stronger and Colleen gripped harder to the sides of the tub. She slowly inched closer and closer and closer, kicking and shouting and flailing in vain. She pulled her legs in tight to her body, doing anything she could to distance herself from the terrifying fate waiting for her down the pipe. She would get sucked down, and there was nothing she could do.
In a final desperate attempt to save herself, she grabbed hold of the towel on the rack, but the tension rod slipped and gave way, crashing down. That was it. Her last hope, destroyed.
“I am not going quietly!” Colleen bellowed as ferociously as her tiny lungs could manage.
“That is for sure!” her mother shouted back, bursting into the room again. “Wh—...Ugh! What is in the water! Colleen get out of there!”
She scooped up Colleen and wrapped her up in a towel.
“It was sucking me down! It got me! It was dragging me down the drain again! You see? It won’t stop! Just like like last time! Don’t make me do this again!” Colleen sobbed hysterically.
“Last time?” her mother asked puzzled. “Oh...oh!” she said with a wave of realization. “That’s why you’ve been so scared? Honey, you just had to explain this to me and I would have been able to give you a logical explanation! I take showers, so I wouldn’t know about the bath situation. It seems some pipes got crossed somewhere. That would explain the murky water and the suction. It’s not a monster! I can fix this, don’t worry. I’m so sorry, honey, there’s really nothing to be afraid of. You can take shower from now on, okay?”
Colleen was skeptical, but she felt immense relief to be out of the tub and have a new explanation for the monster. She trudged to her room, exhausted, and collapsed in her bed, still wrapped in her towel. She felt herself starting to doze off as her mother’s explanation ran through her head. Her eyelids got heavy, and just as she felt sleep trying to take her, she shot upright like a bolt.
“But...but who—” she thought to herself, eyes widening. “Who whispered my name?”

Retired Kangaroo


Offline Brian

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Reply #1 on: June 09, 2013, 11:59:31 am
Nice, I like it alot :)



Offline Biggo2

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Reply #2 on: June 09, 2013, 01:11:01 pm
2/10 did not shit myself

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