Fire reported in NPM's toolshop

[danigold1]

*You stroll around Downtown, an old man comes to you yelling something incoherently, and gives you a piece of paper, which reads:

NORTH POINT MALL'S TOOLSHOP IS HAVING A CRAZY FIRE SALE
The North Point Mall's tooled Up is selling ALL OF ITS TOOLS! For PRACTICLY NOTHING! It has lowered its prices to be the lowest in Vice City*!
LIMITED TIME OFFER!!! GRAB IT WHILE ITS HOT!

Our Menu:

• Harpoon for 140 ARD - Hookshots!
• Katana for 136 ARD - These replicas were delivered to us for LARP purposes, we don't know why the arrived, this isn't even a tool, but we just sharpened them like crazy and now we are selling them anyways!
• Chainsaw for 580 ARD - The cheapest in the city*!!!!!
• Screwdriver for 25 ARD - With this in your hand you'll wanna screw everything in sight you'll be questioning your sexuality!
• Hammer for 30 ARD - Good heavens would you look at the time.. ITS TIME TO BUY FROM OUR SHOP!

So why not get wood and do it yourself this weekend? ITS GONNA GET LIT!
Please note there isn't really a fire in the store, its safe to go there.
ANYONE WHO COMMENTS ON THIS THREAD GETS ANOTHER 5% DISCOUNT! AHHHHH!
*_{THERES NO CATCH! ITS LITERALLY THE CHEAPEST THIS TIME!}

[Nomel714]

damn boi fire everywhere

[Hype]

shit's on fire yo, thx for 1.4k harpoons

[Sevrin]

That's fucking lit af, fire 🔥

[Maddy]

SHIT FIRE HAS BEEN DROWSED BY SCREW THIS SHIT AND ANOTHER FAIRE STARTED IN SCREW THIS FOR CHEAP AND PROFESNAL TOOLS GO BUY SHIT THERE

[Huntsman]

SHIT FIRE HAS BEEN DROWSED BY SCREW THIS SHIT AND ANOTHER FAIRE STARTED IN SCREW THIS FOR CHEAP AND PROFESNAL TOOLS GO BUY SHIT THERE

Advertising your bussiness in another bussiness's advertisement is rather lame.
Be creative and create your own "lit" advert