Jokes Corner

[aleksandar_gojkovic]

An orthodox priest goes down a highway in a car. Suddenly he comes across a dead donkey. He calls the cops and asks them "could you come to remove the donkey from the highway?"
Cop wanted to look smart so he asked the priest: "ok, but did you read him a pre death prair?"
And the priest replies: "No, i wanted to alert the closest family first."

LMAO 

[Rusty]

A gypo girl is about to get married. Her mum says, "Emerald, you do realise that when you're married your husband will want to stick his most prized possession in to where you piss?" The daughter replies, "Shut up Ma, how the fuck's he gonna fit his Transit van in the sink?"

[Stefanrsb]

An orthodox priest goes down a highway in a car. Suddenly he comes across a dead donkey. He calls the cops and asks them "could you come to remove the donkey from the highway?"
Cop wanted to look smart so he asked the priest: "ok, but did you read him a pre death prair?"
And the priest replies: "No, i wanted to alert the closest family first."

LMAO 

LOL

[Mikal]

A gypo girl is about to get married. Her mum says, "Emerald, you do realise that when you're married your husband will want to stick his most prized possession in to where you piss?" The daughter replies, "Shut up Ma, how the f**k's he gonna fit his Transit van in the sink?"

Thats so fucking true! 90% of all the gypos in my area have a Transit! Including all the ones that arnt even old enough to drive by 5 years! 

[duffman]

Why are all black people fast?
Because the slow ones are in jail.

no racist shiet

[Jack Rosso]

A man walks over the sidewalk, noticing a woman walking up to her.

[Mikal]

Why are all black people fast?
Because the slow ones are in jail.

no racist shiet

A man walks over the sidewalk, noticing a woman walking up to her.

Heh?

A joke I saw back in the day:
What did the managers say when Nexxt applied to be an admin?
Next! 

[Dolfagr]

Q: There are 17 blonds standing outside a disco but why couldn't they get in?
A: The sign said "must be 18 to enter".

Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?
A: To get chocolate milk.

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.


Police Chief: As a recruit, you'll be faced with some difficult issues. What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?

New Recruit: Call for backup!


The phone rings at FBI headquarters.

"Hello? I'm calling to report my neighbor, Clifford. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!"

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, FBI agents descend on the neighbor's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swear at the neighbors and leave.

The phone rings at the neighbors house. Hey, Clifford, did the FBI come?"

"Yep."

"Did they chop your firewood?"

"Yep."

"Great, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed."

[Mikal]

Why are all black people fast?
Because the slow ones are in jail.

no racist shiet

Omg, major racism omg Obama call meeting about this!

[8793574]

What do you call a snail on a ship?


A snail.

[TheLegitHabibi]

What do you call a red headed lady aged 50, dressed in trendy clothes and high heels travelling from new York to Chicago in first class?


a passenger

[Stefanrsb]

What do you call a snail on a ship?


A snail.

LOL 

[JDC]

An Irishman walks past a bar.

[Nathan]

Don't remember where I read this.


A: I just broke up with my girlfriend!
B: Oh I'm sorry!
A: It's okay, she'll come crawling back.
B: Why?
A: I stole her wheelchair.

[ɹǝʇsuoɯ]

Best Stand Up Comedy Ever! Mitch Fatel.

LOLOLOLOLLOLLOL.LOL.LOL.LOL.LOL.LOL.LOL .OL.LOOL.O.LOLOL