Originally posted on TCL Forums...
Hi Fellas,
Queen - I Want To Break Free (High Quality)Today will be a sad day for many around Argonath. Today I leave Argo, not for an hour, a day or a week. But forever.
I felt about posting this on the argo forums, but I believe it will hurt too many, so therefore I choose to post it here where many of my admins lie. The people that knew me and knew what I had done for them. Without others hiding their true identities. I have always tried to do my best and to achieve the highest that I could. From being a new player, to moderator, to admin, to manager, to developer and division leader on IV:MP; you guys have been the best admin team I have come come across, and I feel proud to have lead you.
My ultimate goal was to became community leader, however following promotions today, it appears my goal was not to be. I have a hunch that this was my downfall due to banning a moderator who, to my mind, betrayed everything that the admin team in SA:MP was about. About helping others when they needed it. Instead this moderator decided himself over others, and it seems the management was against me on the fact that I banned him, instead of reporting him to HQ.
I understand that many inside and around argonath will have a hard time finding things without me, doing things beside me and just having me as a friend in times of need.
Having thought about how it will affect people and how it affected me, I felt that once I had been demoted, the wings had fell underneath my great bird of a leader. That it did not matter what I did in SA:MP because I was only an admin, and no matter how hard I would try, it seemed you needed to be a manager to do anything. With this in mind, from the post of division leader it was a different story. I had the best admin crew and wished for it to be seen inside SA:MP, but then no one knew about me in IV:MP. I was getting asked more and more to fulfil many manager duties because people began to trust me and I had to tell many people that I was not a SA:MP manager. This would lead them to say, "But they are inactive" or "They never respond".
What more could I do for them. Yesterday I came on to see that a new manager was selected as SA:MP Manager. I had been one of the best and could be the best no longer. I was one of the best property admins on SA:MP. By some even calling me the leader of the property admins. But it seems management had other plans.
I feel sorry to all the people that I leave behind and yesterday I cried over the idea that I would not see them again. I leave because I feel I can go no longer, that HQ have let me down with the fact that I asked repeatedly for a higher position on SA:MP in order to help others. Instead it seems I was not the right choice for them.
Its the same reason I left TCL, which many people think that was a bad move. To me, I saw the fights that I was having here with Emre and Exclusive and found new lands inside Rstar. Seems even Rstar doesn't think about their own when most of SA:MP management are Rstar. So this is why I came back to TCL for one final time to show you that I do care about TCL and all it has done. Having directed TCL for many months, I feel proud that I can still see how my work that I have put into the site continues to get used. I happy that Dexter and Dino can lead on, and with Dino's promotion I feel happy that he can take on the duties I did as I was once is his place.
This is my third time writing this message, but everytime I felt it wasn't done properly or didn't address the issues that I had. Because on Argo, it would probably be deleted after a time and thinking about how Dexter was annoyed at me for deleting archives and memories, I now understand and so wish for my message to be saved.
Let everyone know that the players and my admin team were the ones that kept me going through times thick and thin. I wish to give thanks to a lot of people, I'll try my best to name you all from memory.
To Dino, you tried to keep me, I'm sorry I have to leave you in the position where you have to take up the slack that I leave behind. You were my number one friend, my admin, my biggest bond in argo. I therefore keep my promise to you and say that I will not play on another community after this one. You have this in black and white, and although it will be hard for me, like a drug; I will always think of you and know you are watching me somewhere with some /ban waiting for me if I do <3
To Tand, Sorry sebbe that I have to leave you without notice. I feel sorry to have pulled a TAi in many ways and just leave like a horse in the night, but I feel its my time to break free. After I returned from my 15 day demotion ( more like 17 days, then pancher removed my forum access from admin to moderator...) I felt like the wings had gone beneath me for SA:MP, and when I returned it seemed no one had noticed the damage they had done by jailing a bird who only wished to help. Give Sue the access she needs and lead Adam who has a great heart to help our server. Through them will come the day when Argonath IV:MP can look on the future as it enters T4.
To Icy, I'll miss your attitude, your professionalism, the way that you make people feel in the server and how you were with me. The best photographer on Argonath and a good friend, you stood by me all the way and made me feel proud to do so. Good luck with the car and I hope you look towards the future.
To the admin team of IV:MP. You all know me, never should you think I leave because of you. I leave because of the owners and their HQ of SA:MP. You were my best team. From Batta who learnt a lot of my techniques to James who learnt many of the ways that I would never tell others, such as the dog in the kennel technique. For Rami, you take care not to get yourself hot tempered when things are lost, you keep strong and keep a good face for all the team. To Devin, I now know what its like when you do something like you did, and get your faith ruined in others because of someone elses mistake. I think you can relate to this and see how it affects me like it did you. To Alessandro and Yoske, you made me proud, coming from a player with not a lot of experience in the admin team, to someone who could help players, create fun in the server and continue to be counted on. To Senate - Thank you for your professional attitude in the server and for being a semi - manager when it needed.
To Jerry - my number one taxi driver - Thank you for showing me around SA:MP when I was new, and for helping me achieve and have fun. You gave me the start that anyone should have, even the part where you helped me (allbeit naughtily ) pass my passport test on SA:MP and my driving test. You were the first one to make an impact on me and so I want you to know you'll exist in my heart for your help.
To Janek - Sorry that our deep friendship had only just begun, from the fun times on the organ together to the deep conversations we talked about. I'm sorry I have to burn my bridges with you as I have to on many other relationships I built. I'll deeply regret not having met you or Dino, but that is something I will get over with time. You keep the radio crystal clear and think of me when you fix your microphone. If I'm ever in the area where you are, I'll see if the number still works.
To the SA:MP admin team, you all know me and you all know what I did. Many will have mixed thoughts about me, especially in the moderator team because they may not know how hard I worked. At my peak time I could handle 8 reports in about 2 minutes and 10 houses I could alter in about 3. I was the premier property admin and always drove myself to help anyone and everyone in the server. I feel sorry for leaving you, but it seems management had other plans to keep me behind. I feel I have missed the boat to manager and I feel let down because I could have given you so much more, similar to what they have on IV:MP. As Dino once said, when I came to SA:MP to changed my goals from IV:MP to SA:MP. I did this because this was where most people were that joined argo. Before SA:MP, the owners did not know I existed, Nor what I could do.
To Zaila, the guy that could always rely on me, and who could help me. You are the nearest to what I was, a leader in another server and a property admin. I felt when I was leaving that I should not write a letter that looked like a sob story, because it would upset many people. But I feel that people need some sort of message from me that I did not leave them stranded and that I moved on because I had no where else to go. With the A Team as you knew it in a bad state, I hope you can see my reasons and help others like you have helped me.
To Nexxt, Thank you for being there for me, and helping me when I needed it. You could cheer me up and have a laugh and at the same time always have a friend close by who understood you for you.
To Leon, to me you were always an admin. You were the unborn, the one that never was able to be seen by others. You helped people when you didn't need to and you helped me many a time, even when I was doing admin work. You have seen what many other's haven't, that is, how hard I worked whilst I was there and what I did to help others for the benefit of them. I hope in the future you can reach your goals and think of me when your at your highest.
To Gird3r, my number one coach. The guy that stood looking at me saying - why does a manager want training off of me. You never let down. You always gave me so much of your experience that you didn't pass on to others. You were able to train me and tell me your experiences of Argo, as the guy who also trained cutter, I want you to know you did one of the best trainings I have had in Argo to date, you told me things as a community leader and a friend and that's not without reward as I will remember the chats we had about family and about argo and how you came to be where you were. You keep trying hard at the maths, if you can. Within time things will fall into place.
To the families in Argo - TCL, WS, RSTAR, AV, TEAM, GSTAR, GVARDIA, CORELONE, FALCONES, SOPRANOS, ARAATUS, GAMBETTI ANCELOTTI and others. You are the the guys who keep families together and tight. You all know each other and I wish to thank the leaders of each of these. To Dexter, thank you for being understanding, and for helping me to become the director of TCL. I wish for you to do well on the courses we spoke about and take care of yourself. To the WS team, mainly Ledend thank you for showing me VCMP in my final weeks. You gave me the friendship from another part of Argonath and I'm happy to have helped you find what you needed. To Fuzzy - one of the best pilots in SA:MP, thank you for what you did. Rstar - Many people found Rstar to be elites. They were picked from the best. I'm sorry to say that on this occasion I feel let down by Rstar. It is for this reason that I write in the TCL forums. As one of you, I wasn't able to enter the HQ where, V, Cutter, Pancher, Malcolm lay. Being apart of Rstar I would have thought mean't an opportunity for everyone but especially as I was in your family. Then I see I am banned by xCasio for a possibly hacked account, and from one thing to another, you now have another in the HQ.
To MIB, Thank you for being one of the most friendly, adaptable leader I have met. You were always kind, always helpful and I will miss our time together. I started to understand from your point of view more as I talked with you and through you I could relate many things.
To the families inside Argo I thank you all for having known me and shared with me your experiences. From Ness who I understood when others did not, to Cofiliano who was helpful to me when I needed it. To Tave and Savior for their support who helped me and was the nearest family to me. To Johan and the Supranos - You always welcomed me and greated me with open arms. You were always happy for me to use whatever I wanted, be that a man or equipment and never asked much of me. To people in Ancelotti, especially Romeo, I know you will be very upset when you hear of my absence. I want you to know you that as a family, I feel proud of what you and continue to do for Argo, you help people, you play nice to people, sometimes you even play rough with people, but in the end you have one goal. To Melvin and the Gambetti's, including Roy; Thank you for your understanding and your care. Thank you for offering me your families support and being the people you are.
To V, Sorry I could not follow all your rules and sometimes, like Obama, acted of feelings instead of regulations. I want you know that I acted on the interests of others and I feel let down by you that I could not join the glass ceiling you talked about. I would have liked that chance, and although you mentioned to me that I was still in line for Manager, I feel my wings have gone beneath me and feel that Murt has to take up the slack where I could not.
I come now to the players who above all others will be most upset about my parting with you. But just know that you are not the reason that I leave. I had the motto - the best or nothing - I was going to give you my best and never let you down. Fate it seems, has had another trick in-store. If I cannot give you the best you should get, from admin work to manager or Division Leader, then I cease to operate. If I know I cannot reach my goals, then I have no goals. Knowing someone else was chosen before me hurts me deeply because I cannot aid others like I did in IV:MP. This is the reason I part ways and although you may take it personally, let it be known that you were the reason that I stayed as long as I did. You helped and were helped, some even did things for me that they weren't supposed to in their interests for me. I thank Joker and others that knew me as a player, who helped me and gave me all the courage to do what I did. I never would have thought I was a leader, until I was there. For this I thank you, because it gives me the knowledge that I know I can be the same here as I can be in real world. I have had to discover myself, and Argo has been the one to do that. To understand everyones differences from country to country, to understand one another as a human being and not a random player.
Imagine - The Beatles - John LennonI now draw to a close on this very hard to write message of passage. As a token of my appreciation I wish that the management take my will and allocate all of my savings, $21,532,843 to every member I have listed by name. To Dino, I leave my house, my best business. To all the management and the families and everyone who I have listed by name, I wish there to be something there for all. Although not much by some, I wish for people to have what they want, a home, a car, a bike, a boat.
Thank you for giving me a home in the time I was here.
DellStorm 2009 - 2012.
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